Blocking out the noise
Life gets crazy sometimes, doesn’t it?
One minute, you’re starting something new, and the next minute, you’ve started several something new’s and you’re overwhelmed with all the stuff you’ve got on your plate.
That’s me right now.
It’s a good busy. Training has ramped up to its peak. I’ve done three races and hope to squeeze in one more in a couple of weeks — the Robidoux Quick n Dirty in Gering, NE. Then I’ll switch focus to training for a half IRONMAN and riding my mountain bike (super, super stoked for this).
My NASM test is on June 14, and I’m incredibly nervous about it. I almost bailed on this task, but I decided that it’s now or never. Going to give it a try. I’ve never been a great test-taker because I hate memorizing things. But we’ll see how it goes. I am giving it 100%.
I started teaching at the YMCA, and I’m having a lot of fun helping to rebuild the team after a long COVID break. It’s great facility that gave me an opportunity when I first arrived in Austin, and I’m excited to be teaching and hopefully in the future learning the ins and outs of being a personal trainer, too!
I’m working hard as ever as the ambassador program grows and I try to make new connections here in my new city.
It’s been hard balancing it all. This past weekend, I just stayed inside and zoned out, took the dogs on some long morning walks, ate some good food and did a trainer ride. Sometimes you need to chill out.
It’ll feel so good once it’s all over, though. Next week’s test is going to be a big weight off my shoulders. Then a vacation and a long, tough bike ride to close out the season. 100 miles of gravel. And I get to hang out with Heidi (for maybe a few miles until she totally smokes my ass). Let’s go!
What a midlife crisis it’s been. The process of rediscovering myself has been challenging, but I’m making it through. I realize that a lot of the time, I really just desire to be understood and accepted. Not even really that I want people to like me, though for the longest time I thought that’s what it was.
I’ve never been the most outgoing person in life. My mannerisms may be a little odd. I’m highly emotional and feel a lot of feelings.
I have a blunt way of communicating because I feel like a lot is lost when you try to be accommodating … in a way I realize this can make me kind of a jerk. But sometimes it’s hard watching people slowly kill themselves. At the same time — I realize change doesn’t happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen if someone doesn’t want it to, so I try not to be too much of a jerk.
Sometimes I’m a victim of my own thoughts. They seem to randomly pop out of nowhere, and I’m trying to reprogram my brain into solving problems, looking for positivity and being graceful to my own self instead of self-sabotaging. Easier said than done! It’s easy to beat yourself up. It’s easier to blame everyone else and the world for your own problems. I’m the one who has to put in the work to re-frame my thoughts, and so I’m doing just that.
Everyone in my life has been so patient with me. Here’s a big thank-you to all of you for not taking it personally while I try to figure it all out. Lots and lots of miles, long walks, early mornings and sleepless nights have gone into it so far.
Who’s going to come out on the other side?
Not 100% sure yet, still, but I can’t wait to meet her.