Cycling a marathon and more training updates

At the finish line of the 2022 Austin Marathon!

I did the Austin Marathon …

… on my bike.

I feel like not a lot of people get to say that, but I think it was an honor to be able to ride alongside the first place for women as a bike lead.

The opportunity to volunteer came up through a local group club I’m a part of called the Breakfast Club, and I signed up, along with a few of the other Violet Crown ladies.

It was such a cool experience! And by cool, I do mean cold, because it was quite chilly, but the excitement, and the crowd, and the energy of the day really made it worth it. I had a really good time. I would do it again in a heartbeat! Even better is that it fell on a recovery week, so I had zero guilt riding slow and easy around downtown Austin on streets I’ll probably never be able to ride again.

I want to give a big shout out to everyone who made this event possible. I heard all the chaos on the voice coms! It was not an easy day! It was so great to be a part of it, though, and it was amazing to be a part of this awesome bike crew, too.

***

Training has been coming along. I’ve just finished my first week of build and am adjusting to my new schedule and intensity of training. I’ve been taking on more saddle time, along with a slight boost in gym time because we added Les Mills Core to the YMCA (yay!) and extended spin by 15 minutes. Overall, not a huge gain, but it does increase prep and recovery time.

I’m having fun with it, though, and am also going to train for BodyCombat in a couple of weeks. BC has always been my go-to when I don’t feel like doing anything else but still want to be active. It’s fun, it’s engaging, and damn it will get you moving and sweating! It feels good to jump around and throw punches and kicks and just be badass. So I can’t wait to become certified in it.

I know it’ll be a challenge, especially thrown right into the training mix, but that’s OK. What else do I have to do?

Life has felt both overwhelmingly fast and extremely slow. I’ve been hyper-focused on myself, probably even a bit selfishly.

I’ve never been more excited to wake up and start each new day. It’s full of challenges. It’s full of things I’ve never done before. It’s full of people I’ve yet to meet. I’m just seriously loving this new energy.

Not that I really have a ton of energy, let’s be real. I get rid of it pretty darn quickly.

But I would say it’s a new energy for life. I’m super stoked to be alive, and I’m super happy to just be me.

It’s nice not pretending to be someone else. It’s awesome waking up in the morning and not having to feel like you have to be someone else to make someone else happy. I do my hair the way I want. I wear whatever clothes I want to wear. I train when I want. I make plans with who I want and I do and eat whatever the fuck I want to.

The only thing I have to worry about is just living my life the way I want to live it, and that’s not really much to worry about, honestly, because it’s just natural.

And baby, I am G L O W I N G.

One of my goals in therapy has been to fully and truly love myself. It’s not something I’ve ever really experienced before. I always felt less than, or lacking, or “off" like I should be lucky that I fit in anywhere.

That’s small town thinking, though.

The cool thing about the city is that there are thousands and thousands of people who are all here living their lives, doing their thing, and people have other shit to do than to notice you. Eventually, you just kind of blend in.

Not that you can’t stand out. It’s just different. You don’t stand out like a sore thumb. Your existence is just a little busier.

I’m so much less pre-occupied with what I think other people think about me and more focused on what matters to me. “Take off the judgement jacket” is a phrase I heard a little while ago, and I wrote it on my bathroom mirror.

Why do I have a tendency to judge myself so harshly? I don’t know. That is changing, though. The other day in class, I had an interruption and I completely blanked out. I had to pause the track for a moment, look at my notes, and then I apologized to the class and moved on. I feel like 6 months ago I would’ve been devastated. I simply apologized, said I’m sorry everyone, that threw me off pretty badly, and then kept going.

I didn’t even dwell on it! How crazy is that. I’m extra proud of that growth.

I’m extra proud that I can look in the mirror and like the girl smiling back at me, messy hair, salty kit, itchy skin and all. It’s just me, take it or leave it.

And if you leave it, well, good riddance, you’re not for me then, are you. I am not gonna even be sad about it.

I think this weight off my shoulders is a reason why I’m able to add on the training this year and still feel pretty good. I respect my body and my rest times, so I’m being extra vigilant about honoring that. I’m proud of my progress and my racing. I’m healing and making huge strides forward.

That’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Not every gain is going to be visible or noticeable by others, but it surely can be felt by your own soul.

In one month, I return back to Oceanside to cheer on the team. In two months, I will return back to Hico, to conquer that damn route, and in 3.5 months, I’ll discover a new strength to take on the Hell of the East in Asheville and its 11,000’ feet of climbing.

I’m going to love myself every damn second of the way, too.

This is what true freedom feels like.