Life rolls on

We’ve all been told at one point in our lives that our problems, our lives, are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

“Don’t worry about it. There’s nothing you can do anyway.”

“That’s life.”

“Life’s a bitch and then you die.”

Over the millions and billions of years of existence of the universe, our little blip really doesn’t matter. Humanity will be gone in the blink of an eye in this grand scale, and nothing we will have done will have made any difference. After all, humans haven’t really been here all that long anyway, right? So why care?

Enter nihilism and cynicism.

I was sucked into that black hole for a long time. I think it’s not uncommon to find in people from small, Midwestern towns like I grew up in. Life really can feel like it’s going nowhere when there’s literally nowhere to go.

But then you leave.

You discover a place you always longed for but never knew existed.

You discover a community you enjoy being a part of.

You discover people that are excited and happy to be a part of your life, to support you and to experience this life with you.

You try new things. You take some chances. You break stuff — a lot of stuff. You mend disagreements and break hearts. You cry. You laugh. You love.

And slowly, but surely, as you start to grow, you start to leave that old you behind.

It’s painful, and it’s tough, but once you let go of those old sentiments, those old ways of thinking, you really start to change.

For some people, this is a spiritual or religious process. For others, it’s just a process, usually brought on by a moment of great change or difficulty in life. (It never fails ya, they’ll sneak up on you when you’re least expecting them!)

Mine was definitely one of those process things. In fact, I’m still going through the process. I feel like you always will be if you’re doing it right.

I don’t like the old me. I respect the old me, and I cherish what the old me did to get to here. But I don’t think I would choose to be friends with that person. Maybe that’s just the wisdom of age speaking. I wonder if in 20 more years if I would be friends with the current me?

(I hope so, I think I’ve become a pretty all right person.)

Now, I think that, in the grand scheme of things and for the existence of existence, maybe it doesn’t really matter. But it does matter in this current moment, in this very day, week, month, year, lifetime, and for the rest of the time we are consciously here. It does matter.

It matters until it won’t matter anymore. When will that be? Who’s to say but maybe some incredibly intelligence scientist. It ain’t me, though.

I want to keep doing my part. I want to keep being part of the solution, not part of the problem. I want to keep enjoying a life that is part of what will get us ahead, not look behind.

Life rolls on, day by day.

What choices will you make that will affect not only you but everyone else further on down the line?

Will you look back on those and be proud? Will you look back on your former self and want to give yourself a huge hug?

I can only hope that on this Earth Day, in 2021, still in the middle of a pandemic, that we can all offer ourselves, our loved ones, and our fellow humans, plants, animals and elements some extra compassion.

Because there is something you can do. There’s always something you can do. Even if it seems small, just remember that we evolved from single celled organisms, and look at where that went.